Depression is something that many people will have experienced at some point in their lives, but for those that haven’t experienced it, this article attempts to conceptualise the experience of depression. It should be noted that everyone’s experience of depression is not the same, and this is just one view from the inside of depression.
The Experience of Depression
Being depressed is like having all the colour and joy sucked out of the world, leaving nothing but a void of emptiness. The things that once seemed easy take a gargantuan effort. It’s like part of your brain has completely died or switched off, leaving you a shell of your former self. You lose interest in everything. Nothing gives you pleasure. It sometimes feels as though the whole world is working against you.
When you are depressed, you have no motivation, and you often feel tired all the time. Sleeping seems a much more attractive option than being awake. Some people with depression struggle to get out of bed at all, because there seems no point to getting up and getting dressed. Many people with depression lose their appetite, but conversely others feel the need to comfort eat so-called junk food.
Being depressed affects all aspects of your life. To understand what it is like to be depressed, imagine that you were out walking one day when suddenly the ground opened up beneath you and you found yourself tumbling down into a deep, dark, abandoned well shaft. You keep falling and falling, until eventually you hit the bottom – but there is no hope of escape, and all that you can see around you is darkness.
This dark despair is common with depression, and it does feel as though you will never be able to climb out of the pit of misery that you have fallen into. Robert Lowell famously claimed that “the light at the end of the tunnel is the light of the oncoming train” – and this phrase sums up the feeling that many depressed people have that even positive things cannot lift the depression.
Depression and Thinking
Depression completely changes the way you think. Everything is coloured by the despair that is all pervading. Your thoughts become sluggish and repetitive, often focused on your failure to function as a human being. It often feels as though even your brain has turned against you.
With depression, there is a deep sense of failure. You feel as though you should be able to cope with life, and the fact that at some level you can’t is something that your thoughts revolve around a lot. “I should be better than this” is a common thought. “I should be able to function” is another.
Suicidal Thoughts in Depression
Thoughts of death and suicide are common in depression. Life becomes an unbearable struggle, and because there is no joy, no excitement, nothing to look forward to, death becomes an answer to the problem that is existing with depression. It is not unusual for someone with depression to spend time thinking about the ways in which they could end their life.
There is a theory that many people with depression don’t have the energy to follow through with their plans, but in fact, a large number of people with depression do end up attempting to take their own lives.
Depression – A Summary
Depression affects the lives of millions of people across the world. Although everyone’s experience of depression is personal, there are some common factors that most people will experience. Feelings of despair and lethargy are common, as are thoughts of suicide.
If you think you are suffering from depression, it is important to consult a medical professional immediately. There is help for people with depression, and it is a good idea to seek help sooner rather than later.
Sources:
Berk, L., Berk, M., Castle, D., and Lauder, S. (2009), Living With Bipolar Disorder, London, Vermillion
Martine Daniel - Hi There! I've always loved writing, and I was delighted in March 2009 when my first novel, The Fire in Your Eyes, was published, ...
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